Stories of Strength - An Anthology for Disaster Relief

Writing for a Better Tomorrow

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I got Worms!

So I've become an amateur programmer as of late because of so many things going wrong with my computer. Kind of like Macgyver but instead of duct tape to make a parachute, I use my laptop and some friendly work guys who are MUCH MUCH better than I at things like this.

You see, my forte is the arts. I like to write, I like to act, I like anything creative. But when someone f-ups my tool for creativity (i.e. My computer) the gloves are off bi-atch!

(Beware Geek Talk ahead)So the first problem arose about a week ago when I was locked out of my laptop by a MS security protocol asking for the product key for Windows. Normally, no problem but only this time the store that we bought it from didn't give us the code (found on the box) because they already set it up. And this was 5 years ago before this option was a gleam in Bill Gates apple eye. So, I figured that it would have to be in the laptop somewhere since it had to match against to something and I wasn't connected to the net. God Bless DOS. I googled how to find it and it was easy as pie. But that only worked for Windows 95/98/ME.

If you have a turn of the century computer, you'd be crapping virtual shit-burgers. So my newer computers I used a nifty program called Magical Jelly Bean. Presto! I got both.

So that was fixed. Then last night...I got a Worm. No not Dennis Rodman. Though that would tremendously improve my rebounding.

Called basically "Chode-F". I got infected while whoring around with MSN Messenger as that is where it passes through. So to those of you who have been online with me over the past week or so when I contracted this venereal virtual disease would want to sit up and take notes, this will cure your computer!!! Praise the Lord!!!

This worm: -puts a "backdoor" in your computer to get passwords, personal information, and your dirty underwear.
-blocks your computer from updating your friendly anti-virus program
-it infects every other computer your MSN (or other chat program) that is online with you while using it.
-Rewrites your online "HOSTS" program so you can never access any known security websites that will wipe the bastard out.
-Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

How do you know you got this worm: Do a file search on your computer checking EVERYTHING including hidden files for "svshosts". If it's there, you gotz it.

What to do: Whew! OK. Got a pen...I warned you...alright.

1. Bring up DOS prompt.
2. Find your HOSTS file. (Usually located in C:/WINDOWS/system32/drivers/etc)
3. Type in EDIT HOSTS. This will bring up everything in the Hosts Program.
4. Delete any entry found below LOCALHOSTS (there's an IP address next to it). Everything else below this one isn't necessary.
5. Hit ALT-F and SAVE.
6. Hit ALT-F again and EXIT.
7. Type EXIT in DOS prompt.
8. You're bitchin' machine will now access those pesky security websites this virus hates. Fo'shizzle.
9. Update your anti-virus software and inoculate. Then you straight, bay-bie!

That SOB is gone, gi-diddly, gone. Reboot and you're done.

Now go young uns, check to see if you got worms. Dr. Maddwriter has your prescription for what ails ya. Unless it's a completely different virus. Then I can't help you. You might want to talk to a techie guy. I just play one on the net.

Until next time, Musing to the Chapel...

2 Musings:

Blogger davidharolds71725057 said...

='Brand New News Fr0m The Timber Industry!!'=

========Latest Profile==========
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Current Price $0.10
================================

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===============
"BREAKING NEWS"
===============

-Energy and Asset Technology, Inc. (EGTY) owns a global license to market
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T
he wood is very lightweight and strong, lighter than Poplar and over twice
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its initial 9-year cycle.

Deltic Timber Corp. currently trades at over $38.00 a share with about $153
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Energy and Asset Technology is currently in negotiations with land and business
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GO EGTY!


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7:22 AM

 
Anonymous bloggy blogenheimer said...

you got spam on your article about viruses? thats so 2004!

worm-rodman-rebounding. you sir are a jewel. a national treasure. and i adore you.

9:37 PM

 

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